february begins

The rain has finally stopped. This morning i was waken by sunlight peeking through my window.

As i sit under this old tree,the wind blowing against my face and ants creeping on top of me, i cant help to think of how quick time has passed. Its February! January swooshed by as i handed in my final year project.

Also how fast my dad's health has deteriorated the past three weeks. He is not not able to walk as he has difficulties breathing.  The other day i while i was sitting in front of him, i was thinking, i could barely recognize my own father. He is stick thin, the effect of not being able to eat. The last few days i sat with him through his meals. He craves for certain food, but sticks to steamed fish mainly. Today, he wanted to eat grilled cencaru with lime and onion sauce, just like the ones we find at ikan bakar places. He finished his first fish and said, Sarah, get me another half a fish! I was delighted. Today was a good day. I think he's happy his children are back. Some days, not too good.

The other day, we were discussing faith. He talked about how Chinese people are versatile,although Buddhist they believe in other gods as well, for example my grandma would bring them to the Hindu God, witness the procession of chariots. And how on one incident some people made fun of the god and they ended up in a trance thus every year they would need to break coconuts to appease the gods.

And then he moved on to Islam and Christianity. He said, I pray to Jesus Christ you know. More than to Buddha. My dad, who never believed in Jesus Christ, prays to him. He said, he is a savior, i pray to him. I don't really pray to Buddha cause Buddha has already passed on. Jesus is among us. Do you think just cause i am not a christian i will go to hell? I don't think so. He adds on.

I think a good man like you will have a place in heaven :) for sure