why wont anybody bring me to the zoo?

ah, today is public holiday,
because it is the beginning of fast.

I want to go to the zoo, me want i dont care i want.
i want to play with my friends there.
cannot ah?
nobody bring me so sad
all your fault
and yours and yours and yours
hehehe

crap is today.
ah.
pardon the broken grammar cause i feel like using broken grammar.
so nice is to use broken grammar.
no need apply rules la, best giler.

what english lesson.
past present continuous tense.
future tense.
future past blah blah shit.

me is equals to not moody today but ah, looking back at many crap i did today is beginning to make me a lot a lot moody.

woke up
read book
sweep room
mop room
wipe table and shelf
wash and soak clothes
online
eat maggi cup noodles
drink milo
online
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. what is the freak my schedule today is really big piece of crap.

me gonna bath now.

big frown for all of u

:-(

hahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahhahahhahahahha
insanity strikes again.
woohoo
yeah
woohoo
yeah yeah

-_-
bye

Unpredicted

As known from my previous posts,
I have been slightly depressed.

So, it was just last morning,
I was telling my friend,
How depressing life was
, and how I felt like I wanted to die.

This was part of my conversation;
[9/8/2007 12:16:59 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: i want to rot and die
[9/8/2007 12:17:09 PM] haqimy says: -_-
[9/8/2007 12:17:33 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: u don’t know how I feel
[9/8/2007 12:17:36 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: i have been studying
[9/8/2007 12:17:40 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: and stressed out
[9/8/2007 12:17:46 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: its all in me
[9/8/2007 12:17:50 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: i feel like exploding
[9/8/2007 12:18:25 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says and my last exam
[9/8/2007 12:18:28 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: how suckish it was
[9/8/2007 12:18:31 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: its still IN ME
[9/8/2007 12:18:32 PM] Sarah Teo Yan-Li says: argh

I didn’t realize how unwholesome my talk was,
Until,
Someone did die.
Not die literally, but committed suicide.
Yes, in the apartment I am staying in.

I was in the common hall,
Watching lord of the rings,
Paying full attention to the lap top screen,
There was a lot of commotion going on behind me,
I still ignored and carried on watching,
Until my friend came and told me,

“Hey a girl just jumped down from the 18th floor, and died”.

My heart stopped for a second.
And I went like what on earth.
Jumping is for losers and sinners.
And it stroke me again,
About my unwholesome talk that afternoon.

My heart ache for the girl,
But my heart aches even more for those she left behind.

No matter how depressed I am,
Or how I feel like dying,
I will never resort to suicide,
Cause to me,
It doesn’t end anything,
But it creates even more problems.

And most importantly,
It is wrong in the name of the sovereign lord.

But,
Who am I to judge her?

The problems I am facing may be very minuscule compared to hers,
And the thought of dying is already there.
So I guess all of us have to be extremely strong in faith, will and mind.

The other side of me.

I greet you with a smile,
Hoping to have a blast together,
As I can’t recall the last time,
I went off light hearted.

And in the end,
Everything comes crashing under.
But hopes will be hopes,
As we can never predict,

It comes down to me and you,
Seated next to each other,
And there is no exchange of words.
I focus on what’s going on in my mind, as
I can no longer read yours.

I have so much to say.
But yet I keep mum.
Maybe it’s because I have said so much,
And words have become pointless in a way.

I am trying so hard,
To forget, to cast away, to erase,
My history,
You take what I say for granted,
And stab me in the heart,
over and over again.

Now I can only,
reminisce the good old times,
We spend together,
Laughing as hours slip through,
Unnoticeable.

Tell me the meaning of happiness,
As my heart feels none.
Tell me the way to let go,
As my heart feels a burden.
Tell me a way to understand,
As my limit has reached an end,

I am a weary,
Exhausted,
Drained,
Mortal.

Help me rejuvenate.

Of wonders and doubts

I am beginning to wonder a lot, that in this conspicuous world that I am living in, why us humans who are so alike in function and physic can sometimes be so hard to get along with.

I understand the fact that god created each one of us uniquely and differently in mind.
But thinking of it, by the end of the day after all the petty fights, silent treatments, bad feelings, or dislike, most of the things that create unpleasantness to the heart are very minor ones. If thought carefully it is even avoidable and unnecessary.

But then again, most humans feel and act unplanned and based on impulse, or at least I do.
So I guess what’s important to me is to correct what we left wrong.

And more importantly sometimes even if when we are not in the wrong, it means a big deal to put aside our pride because that I think that Is what that differentiates us from the others.

P.S# I havent been uploading much posts because somehow, blogspot takes a million years to load.

I hope miracles do happen.

Yes, because I need one.
I have an English presentation that carries 5% to my final exam in 4 hours.

And I lost my voice.

NO, even worst.

I still have my voice, but I sound like a freaking chocking toad.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The disadvantages of public examinations, Poof!
I shall now tell everyone the disadvantages of talking too much now that I lost my voice.

That post was typed at 10.30a.m but my internet explorer couldnt open my blog so im only posting it up now.

Now that it’s all done, I feel so relief. It went okay I guess.
Somebody said that I now sound like a freaking grandmother.
ERHHHhhh!

At first 5 people were coming to my place to stay over.

And then there were 7

then 8

now out of a sudden there are 11 people coming.

I was planning to cook, erm, looks like not anymore.

I am so tired.

I do have stuff to blog about, but everytime i reach home and hit the bed,

I fall asleep within 10 seconds.

Thats how tired I am.

Thinking back of the days when it was so hard for me to fall asleep,

now its like kacang putih.

thats me, hiran, cat and dorita at mcdonalds dataran pahlawan which is 24 hours, a place where we get our late night snacks.

5 days, 5 days to go!

I found a cd with lots of games i grew up with, and i was so happy and excited to hear the familiar music of super mario, te tek dek te tek tek....( use your imagination)

But i quited in one minute with the feeling of being a complete loser.
The tiny mario who had not eaten his mushroom couldn't even jump across the drain.
I had three chances and mario ended up in the drain all three freaking times.
And it's so annoying how he always ends up in the drains and jumps up back.
and the music goes tek tek tek tek tek... Like wth, i get it you are dead mario,and you are not good at jumping across drains. But why on earth do i feel like a complete loser.

Sigh, other than that everthing else was good today.
I met up with my friends. I was so happy to see them, in school uniform! I miss putting on my school uniform and tying up my hair, looking all neat and formal.

Thinking back, i spent my 5 last years with these people, some of them i even knew back from primary school and kindergarten. It's nowonder why i miss them so much, they formed a big part of my life.

Peterpan's Ku katakan dengan indah is playing in my Winamp now, and it's making me want to cry. You know why, yeah you, only we know why. Cause i miss you, like so much...

Tuesday :-( , Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday :-)

Ignore the above paragraph. It's totally insignificant to everyone except to me.

I hate dial-up 56k connection, it's making me cry. I can't even upload pictures...
And i thought the weather in Malacca was hot, it's so totally hot here too.
Oh yeah, i forgot this is Malaysia.(smacks forehead!)
Ice cream time! tchao!

I am intoxicated on life

I’m back. And it feels so SO good. The same familiar surroundings, people I love and home cooked food I , thank god for my mum, it feels great to be back. Nothing comforts me more than the feeling of being at home.
And I haven’t been back for approximately a month, and guess what
I found out that there is a new café.
Body shop and elianto.
My second cat ( stray cat that we feed) gave birth to four drop dead so cute till cant tahan kittens. Got blue eyes somemore!
A month and so much changes?

How unfair, i want to witness changes too.

My friend who was on his way to Singapore stopped by Kluang, and he was thinking that Kluang was a some ulu place.
Yeah I told him we are still living on trees and from the bus stop we will stop by a jetty, from there we have to get to town by sampan, then go through another 3km jungle track before reaching my place.
And when he reached here, my was he was surprised.
Well, now u know...HmmpH!

I am so physically tired. Have been doing a lot of walking the past weekend.
These are some illustration of what I did,

cable car rides, yes i went up to genting

i watched some really cool jelly fish swim about.

and a whole lot of other animals.